Ruminating over my old posts, I  laughed, cried, fondly  reminisced, and then purged them from virtual existence.It was a romantic thought really, my memories being broken down in cyberspace;  the worn out and depressed in a vortex of triumphs that were documented over the course of 3 years. It was a friendly parting, no overwrought mulling, no stepping off the yellow brick road, it needed to be done and I did it. Yay me.

I think I look all undamaged and happy here. I wish i could look as happy all the time.

I called to say I miss you.

I let the dial tone explore every inch of my being that was momentarily reduced to the precision of a click counter, once; my hopes were high, delirious at this lapse in judgment that could either be madness or bravery. Twice; i stumbled over myself to form witty phrases that might immediately express my gladness that you are tangible and to layer beneath mere witticism  the depth of my soul, and the broad despair it feels without you. Thrice, I began to pull from corners all that should have been done and dusted, “If we were a record”, I thought, “we would have sung our goodbyes in the final chorus and burned all possibility of a bridge”. The fourth time amazed me by how each second that held an age could be represented by a polyphonic tone. It seemed to hesitate as much as you (looking at my number flash across the screen)  might have done. The “Rs” were offensive.

The fifth, sixth and seventh begged me to cut the line, to end the battle against self-worth.  What it could not have understood was how there wouldn’t have been this specific self, this shadow poised to hurl herself at heartbreak with such lack of self preservation, without you. I would not have existed as I am had it not been for you.

The Eighth filled me with doubt, I pictured scenarios whereby you were in the shower, oblivious that I was making this first contact after three weeks, I readied myself to leave a message. The ninth saw me flirting with the idea of hanging up, the idea was smothered before it even began. The phone call had almost completed its course, one last halting ring and all would’ve been resigned that you were occupied, physically absent or comatose from your afternoon golf game (it’s saturday, you always play golf on saturday). But instead, in answer to the million questions that flitted through my mind during those 9 pregnant seconds, came the most eloquent well-composed reply.

Two words to my three, as numerically different as it was in sentiment,

“Call rejected”.

The people in my world were dying of

SORES, KIDNEY FAILURE, NECROSIS, BLINDNESS, INSANITY AND ENCEPHALITIS

Necrosis (in Greek Νεκρός = “dead”) is the name given to unnatural death of cells and living tissue. It begins with cell swelling, chromatin digestion, and disruption of the plasma membrane and organelle membranes. Late necrosis is characterized by extensive DNA hydrolysis, vacuolation of the endoplasmic reticulum, organelle breakdown, and cell lysis. The release of intracellular content after plasma membrane rupture is the cause of inflammation in necrosis.

Encephalitis is an acute inflammation of the brain, commonly caused by a viral infection. It can be caused by a bacterial infection such as bacterial meningitis spreading directly to the brain (primary encephalitis), or may be a complication of a current infectious disease like rabies or syphilis (secondary encephalitis). Certain parasitic or protozoal infestations, such as toxoplasmosis, malaria, or primary amoebic meningoencephalitis, can also cause encephalitis in people with compromised immune systems. Lyme disease may also cause encephalitis. Bartonella henselae can also lead to this. Brain damage occurs as the inflamed brain pushes against the skull, and can lead to death.

Oh god, i really AM twisted aren’t I?

So after my lovely hangover, i rolled out of bed all useless and played PANDEMIC this AWESOME game that allows you to wipe off the world’s population by making your own disease and choosing when and how you want to infect people with it. Easiest country to infect (United States), Hardest country to infect (Madagascar because they only have ONE shipping port). It’s basically this strategy game which is BLOODY fun to play if anyone would like to try it here’s the link!

http://www.addictinggames.com/pandemic2.html

Quoting Chris Shaw

“I killed everyone but madagascar!”

Ok now read on if you wanna read this annihilistic part of me that on ordinary days doesn’t exist! Honestly, I can be good fun:D:D:D

MADAGASCAR BY THE WAY, IS THE HARDEST COUNTRY TO INFECT, AND I DID THAT WITHIN 100 DAYS!! AND MOREOVER, HAHAHAHAHAHAAA INFINITY DAYS TILL VACCINE COMPLETION CAUSE EVERYONE WAS PRACTICALLY DEAD. in case you cant see, ahem, these are the stats

Alive population 2631553

dead population 6325247575

healthy population ZERO

infected population 2631553

number of active hospitals ZERO

Number of days till vaccine completion INFINITY HAHAHAHAHAHA!

Infected regions

Canada, USA Mexico, West Europe Australia North africa south Africa EAst Europe Madagascar Indonesia Japan Middle East Russia New Zealand China Cuba (EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD LA)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA DEVOID OF LIFE. SHORTLY AFTER THIS, CHINA AND UNITED STATES WENT DOWN TO ME. Once again, in case you can’t see

AUSTRALIA completely devoid of life

Madagascar completely devoid of life

Canada completely devoid of life

Peru completely devoid of life

AND THIS WAS THE PART I FELT ALL SAD:( CAUSE I DIDN’T WANT THEM TO DIE YET. I WANTED TO HIT THEM WITH HEMORRHAGING.

Daleth. Overlooking a view, of green and concrete. says:
HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA
Daleth. Overlooking a view, of green and concrete. says:
WE ARE THE GODS OF DOOM
JIGS UP! CONGRATULATIONS JOYCE AND NIGEL! says:
THE BEST!
JIGS UP! CONGRATULATIONS JOYCE AND NIGEL! says:
GODS OF DOOOMMMM!

you know what, i love seeing the world burn too! hahahaha

Oh yes, and this is like a shout out to Justin,

Babe, I love you a whole lot you’re like the most caring, most giving most unselfish person i’ve ever met in my life and i just want you to know that I love you and that i’m always here to listen k? Hugs:) Thank you so much for being my friend and for worrying for me every minute of the day. You’re the best! the BEST i say. I shall now proceed to break clari’s legs:) (inside joke)